When traveling, it is safe to assume that food poisoning will strike. Oh yes, it will...It may be the first day. It may be after 6 months. It may even be the last hour you are away, as the wheels of the plane are hitting the tarmac, the plane is bumping back to home earth and the people are jostling into the aisles.
The latter case was what I experienced coming home from Singapore. Feeling a unique camaraderie with all those who have experienced the more vomit-oriented side of this travel rite of passage, I offer the following insights and advice:
The latter case was what I experienced coming home from Singapore. Feeling a unique camaraderie with all those who have experienced the more vomit-oriented side of this travel rite of passage, I offer the following insights and advice:
- Have a barf bag handy. The importance of such a device with a sealed bottom CANNOT be overstated. In a room, any trash bin or toilet would work, but during landing, the flight attendants can't help you. If, after a frantic but stealth search (drawing attention to oneself should be unnecessarily avoided) you can't find anything suitable to use in your carry-on, then consider the merits of the glossy inflight magazine: does the binding look sturdy and would the pages hold up? Folding it or that extra shirt you were using to ward off the frigid air conditioning into a quasi pouch may be your only hope. Just remember to take these with you when you disembark -- no need passing on your tossed cookies to the overworked cleaning crew.
- Nausea usually comes in waves, so you may have a few lucky 5-10 minutes between ralphing in which to take action. Navigating through the airport and between bathrooms during these intervals is crucial.
- People will stare, especially once the dry heaves and gagging start, but they won't offer to help. You're on your own unless you are traveling with an angel of mercy that discreetly looks away every time you dive for the evermore smelly barf bag. This angel deserves many thanks later for carrying your stuff, finding places to sit and recover, and getting you to the final destination.
- Food poisoning opens a wormhole time warp, making everything take 2 or 3 times as long -- you'll get the trainee immigration officer, the hallway will be under construction forcing a confused circuitous route, your bag will be missing, AND your car will be blocked in. Taking deep calming breathes to survive each hurdle helps, as does capitalizing on those intervals between heaves.
- Getting home could be your biggest problem, even if you have just barely made it through steps 1-4...If you are lucky to be traveling with someone, you can leave it to them to make arrangements for the drive home and you can just lie your sweaty, clammy, pale face down on the back seat and pray they drive smoothly. But if not, pray for a VERY understanding taxi driver (and find another barf bag first).
- Ironically, you will start to feel better once you get home, or your trip is over, or all the fun of the day has ended for everyone else. But take it easy -- 5-8 hours of sleep is coming your way like a freight train. It's best to just go with it, oh, and have a bowl handy just in case (the metal mixing bowl is a reliable favorite).
- Lots of rest and clear fluids the next day, plus embellished retelling of your ordeal, should have you right as rain in no time.
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