Little block of wood, how you made my hands ache

I'm lean toward crafty, not artistic...Cooking? Paper folding? Photography? Nothing too terrifying. Painting? Sculpting? Song-writing? Please don't make me, for the love of God! So when I heard about a new craft class put on by Spiral Synergy , I was definitely there...And it sounded so promising -- 'Learn how to carve a traditional Chinese signboard with a master of the craft!  Right here in Penang!!' What could be better, right?

I should have looked for the fine print, which might have read 'Participants must be able to sit all day hunched over a block of wood with torture devices in hands trying to smoothly slice (hack) away parts of the surface of the board while avoiding important veins and arteries. Immunity to spray paint fumes is a plus. Patience is a must.'

But at the start of the day, all was still promising and exciting. My board didn't look too big. My desired Chinese characters wouldn't be too difficult and looked pretty. We had a shady spot on a busy street to watch  (and be watched by) the world. The tools did not involve power. The master was patient and spoke good English.

Then my fellow signboard novices and I actually started to carve. The master had made it look so easy and smooth, but my clumsy hands were just sweaty and achey. The edges of my tools blunted quickly and I had to go over my characters 3 or 4 times to get any noticeable depth carved (gouged).

At last, we could start sanding the boards to make way for the paint. Sanding, sanding, sanding. Heavy grain, fine grain, oh the strain! Have I mentioned that my hands were sweaty? By this point, 4 hours after we started, my whole self was sweaty. My companions had carved beautiful boards, secretly I wished they had done mine too.

With a flourish of black lacquer (glossy spray paint), it was time for a late lunch. After a tasty selection of baba nonya dishes, with hands washed, tummy grumbling in check, and mind cleared of fumes, my board didn't look half bad. Then on to gold leafing, another new technique to try.

Not bad for a first attempt. It reads Ancient Mountain. And the day was more fun than I thought it would be...I think there's another class coming up...maybe I'll give it another go.